Pro. 365

The Full Moon?

So I havnt really “blogged” in a while. I guess theres just some stuff i have to clear from my head, something i havnt needed to do for a while. Its making me wonder whats happening, it really is. For now im just going to blame the full moon tonight haha

I have a million questions going through my head, none of which i can answer right now. Those of you who are going to read this are going to see a vulnerable side to me, well at least the most vulnerable im willing to make myself.

For so long, iv felt like a passenger in my own life. Its almost like iv been trying to watch myself from a distance so that i can remain objective, so that i can make rational decisions and keep a clear mind. Im only just realising this now, and its a state i naturally went into, i guess because my emotions were getting the better of me. Its only because of Alyssa that im realising it now.

I really havnt felt this way about someone since my first girlfriend. The other girls between then and now have seemed…well, boring, like theres been something missing. Iv never met Alyssa but yet theres something inside me waking up from a dormant sleep. Sure its great, but its also starting to become bad too.

Theres something that happens to me when i get like this. I lose my ability to think critically. I cant judge when im going over the top, ie i more than likely end up smothering them without even realising it. I end up doing things to excess, instead of going for moderation. I lose my rational thinking. I also lose my ability to be cautious, and to come up with a plan b, which is really the worst part.

Anyway, thats all i wanted to say. I guess if you want to know anymore you can just ask. Like i said, this is probably the most vulnerable you will see me, so dont take it too lightly haha

Ok, thanks for reading :) Bye for now

Oh hai tumblr. I almost forgot you existed…again O_o